Yes, Julius and Shella DID get married, on December 12. And everything went very well, and Julius really enjoyed the day, despite all the anxieties associated with the planning and especially the financing of the celebration.
The bride was to come to my house to be dressed, since her own home is several miles up the road. It was my last Saturday in Mbingo, so I wanted to follow the pattern that had become quite established – of Fervent and Godlove arriving to help make, and then eat, pancakes, and then help me make more pancakes and coffee for Pa Gideon when he arrived for work. The boys, after eating their pancakes, got very busy sweeping the veranda and the walk and stairs, so everything would be lovely for the bride. And Gideon had done a lot of work on Wednesday, cutting the grass (with his cutlass), and trimming the flowers and the lantana hedge, so the compound made a lovely setting for photos. The children and I decided to put a sign on the front door – “Today is a wonderful day” – with balloons attached. Godlove liked the sign so much that he did not let me take it down for several days after!
The bride and groom arrived – but the dress had not - it had barely left Bamenda. In fact it did not arrive until an hour before she was to be at the church. Meanwhile, the borrowed car was being decorated in front of the house, and many, many people, all unknown to me, were arriving in my house. I was glad I was already dressed in my wedding clothes! Finally about 10:45am , the bride came out and a few photos were hurriedly taken – and she was whisked off for the church. But the attendants and some friends were still only half ready – I got quite brutal about pushing them out the door, so we could start the 10 minute walk to the church, and not be toooo late!
The bride entered the church in fact 45 minutes late, which is pretty normal. At 11:15 when I finally got to the church, there were people outside, but nobody inside at all. But finally we all filed in, and the proceedings began. Cameroonian weddings that I’ve attended have never been short – there is lots of singing, a sermon of at least ½ hour, various greetings, and at last the actual marriage itself. Then the part that we would consider the “reception program” is held right in the church – signing the register, messages from the family representatives, and cutting the cake. Finally there is the delightful singing – dancing celebration of gift giving, in which all the guests dance up to the front to embrace the bride and groom and leave their gift. It is just SO much fun, and it was a special treat for me that I actually got to dance at Julius's wedding. Finally the service is over – and then there are the many photos to be taken outside – and then the food. The eating hall was filled by the time I got there, so I just greeted people, and thought it best to head for home. Godlove and Treasure’s parents had gone to Bamenda, to attend another staff wedding at which they were singing in the MBH choir; so the children ended up coming to the wedding with me. Treasure had already had a nap with her head in my lap – but they were truly ready to go home too. But it HAD been a wonderful day.
For our class, there had been, as Grace put it, “many successes”. Stephen and Goodness had their lovely little son, who is doing just fine. Julius finally got to marry his Shella. And Christian and Evert who are working for these months of their internship up at Banso, were able to come down for the day, so we were all together one more time. On Saturday evening, they came to my house for a great visit – they are doing very well with their anaesthesia, and it was just wonderful to see them and visit with them one more time. I felt like a mother who is able to have all her children home for Christmas.
The 13 days between the end of the PACU class, and my departure from Mbingo, were packed full. The house of course had to be all packed up, and many personal items given away to appropriate people. But I used some of the time for visits I’d not had time for before – with a few close friends, like Stephen and Goodness and baby Percy – and Comfort who has been so ill with recent kidney failure – and with our pastor – and with Swiss friends who recently came to work at Mbingo. I spent a few hours at the primary school, talking to the children and taking photos and video of their assembly and of them in their classrooms.
I managed a few early morning treks up the hills to see the sun rise from my favourite viewpoints – and longed to be able to hike more. We presented the PACU nurses with their official diplomas in chapel one morning. And many people came through my house, especially the children. One day Madam from Coffee arrived with Fatimatu, Salamatu’s older sister, who was very ill with fever and back pain, but had managed to walk the couple of miles down from Coffee. She went to see the doctor, and was given medicine for malaria, but it was still early in the afternoon, with a very hot sun, so she asked to sleep at my place. I put her on my bed, while Madam, after going to the market, came and lay down on the sofa. Meantime, various people came in and out, and I kept on trying to pack. Life in the African village. One afternoon, Salamatu came from school early and spent most of the afternoon with me as I packed. She is 10 and quite helpful, and it was good time together. "Auntie, I don't want you to go!" Philemon said the same thing, although my departure was greatly cushioned by the fact that his Mom arrived home from nursing school for her 2 week Christmas break. When I asked Fervent what he would do when I left, he said "We'll cry!" but then added "and we'll break down your door and take all your cho-co-late cake!" Richard came for the last time to cook, so the last cho-co-late cake had been made and eaten, I'm afraid!
The last few days before departure are stressful. On Sunday, I had to “greet” – or say my goodbyes – to Mbingo church where I’ve attended the whole time I was in Cameroon. On Wednesday, I got fufu for the OR gang, and went to eat with them. The ladies in the group took me and dressed me up in a beautiful embroidered outfit, the classical clothes of NW Region. I didn’t prepare any talk for the OR men – they have been like brothers, and I knew I could not say anything without bursting into tears – and in the end, I did not go to say goodbye – and they did not come to say goodbye to me either. We always use the Kom expression for “see you tomorrow” and I told them that that was all we were going to say.
Wednesday night I was invited to Mama Godlove’s house (Lillian and Joshua's) for supper – a lovely meal of rice and fufu and njamma njamma and chicken and fish. They had had a big wide African gown made for me – of the same fabric as Goddie’s shirt, and Treasure’s dress. They have been such dear friends, as were all the neighbours in Middle Quarter.
On Thursday, I had to say goodbye to the entire staff in the morning chapel service, and later in the morning, the administration put on a little program for me, when once again, I was dressed up in another beautiful outfit, and various people said kind things, and I had to speak again – and then we all ate – rice, and puff puffs, and fish and eggs. The rest of the day was full of people. After school, I had I think 12 children come into the house, all wanting to draw. I sent some of the younger Middle Quarter ones home for a nap, to come later. My 2 verandas have many marks from indelible marking pens – but I guess it is a sign of a house where children had a good time! And then adults came, and sat and talked, and when those left, others came, and so it went until 10pm when I finally fell into bed.
Those were the events – but there were the in-between moments too of savouring some of the familiar things – the sound of the birds and the crickets in early morning and evening – the glorious sunsets and sunrises of dry season (when the dust makes the whole sky turn pink) – the Southern Cross hanging in the south, the upside-down Big Dipper to the north over Mbingo Hill, and Orion making his arc straight up in the sky – the wonderful view of the hills from my house, and on the farthest hill, the one big tree that always caught the eye – people moving up and down the highway carrying their loads on their heads. – the feel of the air, that never gets too cold, and is always humid, even in dry season.
Friday morning I left by car for Douala – and 48 hours later, I arrived ihere. It is like I have changed planets. I have a home in Mbingo, and one here – each one seems completely normal to me – but surely they do not both exist on the same earth…….